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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Either you or DH need to give her a heads up now about DD's separation anxiety.

So, a call or an e-mail, "Hey, MIL, just wanted to give you a heads up about DD's schedule before your visit.  She tends to nap around x and y and goes to bed around z.  We've also noticed she's a lot more wiggly and going through some separation anxiety, so if she's not so inclined to cuddle, don't take it personally!  She's really into a and b kinds of toys, and she's eating c and d kinds of solids.  I bet it will work well to have you feed her or play with some toys while she's in the high chair.  Can't wait to see you!  Love, DH/DIL"

After some bumps in visits, we always tried to give both grandparents a sense of where we were at that particular moment before a visit.  There's just no way for them to know otherwise.  Phone calls don't cut it.

And as someone with an arthritic parent, no way would I try the Ergo.  It might throw off her sense of balance.  Just let her hold DD when she's sitting.  If MIL starts to stand up holding the baby, just get right up and say, "Oh, I'll take her." Agree with DH in advance that he will do that if he's around.[/quote]

Thanks - so, the other piece of this is that DH actually had a discussion with her about the physical limitations thing after last visit.  Previously she seemed extremely defensive to me and would contrive situations to be alone with the baby and would always push her physical boundaries during those situations.  After their talking I'm not really sure how it's going to go... another thing I'm nervous about is that it might lead to even more passive aggressive from her.  We'll see.  I feel like I'm always either tiptoeing on eggshells trying not to hurt her feelings or strictly laying down the law because she's pushing back.  I just want things to be smooth![/quote]

Don't worry about her being passive aggressive.  Ignore it.  If she has something to say, she can say it outright.  You worry about doing what's right for your baby.  Be as kind as possible about it, but don't feel bad about standing up for your baby's needs and comfort.[/quote]

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