Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good thoughts - I plan to have MIL do some feeding in the high chair. I will think on a play situation that might be more comfortable. I guess baby on the floor and MIL on the couch would give them some opportunity to interact.

She's not actually that huge of a mover - what she prefers these days is to be in mommy or daddy's arms and look at other people. I wear her a lot. I can't see MIL in the ergo... though I suppose we could try that.

Baby on the floor and MIL on the couch is not very interactive. I would put baby on the couch or on a chair beside MIL (in a safe way) - especially if she isn't crawling. I think if you carry her all the time and that is what she is used to, then MIL is going to want to carry her as that may be how DD is happiest. I would try the ergo with MIL. High chair is a good idea too.

Yeah - I do think she will want to carry her... the timing is interesting because separation anxiety has also kicked in and whenever mommy or daddy is around she is not satisfied being held by anybody else. She is lunging a lot, which is what I'm worried about most. Also MIL is hard to imagine in the ergo because of her body type but might be worth a try. Sitting together on the couch is a good idea.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Either you or DH need to give her a heads up now about DD's separation anxiety.

So, a call or an e-mail, "Hey, MIL, just wanted to give you a heads up about DD's schedule before your visit. She tends to nap around x and y and goes to bed around z. We've also noticed she's a lot more wiggly and going through some separation anxiety, so if she's not so inclined to cuddle, don't take it personally! She's really into a and b kinds of toys, and she's eating c and d kinds of solids. I bet it will work well to have you feed her or play with some toys while she's in the high chair. Can't wait to see you! Love, DH/DIL"

After some bumps in visits, we always tried to give both grandparents a sense of where we were at that particular moment before a visit. There's just no way for them to know otherwise. Phone calls don't cut it.

And as someone with an arthritic parent, no way would I try the Ergo. It might throw off her sense of balance. Just let her hold DD when she's sitting. If MIL starts to stand up holding the baby, just get right up and say, "Oh, I'll take her." Agree with DH in advance that he will do that if he's around.

Thanks - so, the other piece of this is that DH actually had a discussion with her about the physical limitations thing after last visit. Previously she seemed extremely defensive to me and would contrive situations to be alone with the baby and would always push her physical boundaries during those situations. After their talking I'm not really sure how it's going to go... another thing I'm nervous about is that it might lead to even more passive aggressive from her. We'll see. I feel like I'm always either tiptoeing on eggshells trying not to hurt her feelings or strictly laying down the law because she's pushing back. I just want things to be smooth!

Anonymous wrote:Either you or DH need to give her a heads up now about DD's separation anxiety.

So, a call or an e-mail, "Hey, MIL, just wanted to give you a heads up about DD's schedule before your visit. She tends to nap around x and y and goes to bed around z. We've also noticed she's a lot more wiggly and going through some separation anxiety, so if she's not so inclined to cuddle, don't take it personally! She's really into a and b kinds of toys, and she's eating c and d kinds of solids. I bet it will work well to have you feed her or play with some toys while she's in the high chair. Can't wait to see you! Love, DH/DIL"

After some bumps in visits, we always tried to give both grandparents a sense of where we were at that particular moment before a visit. There's just no way for them to know otherwise. Phone calls don't cut it.

And as someone with an arthritic parent, no way would I try the Ergo. It might throw off her sense of balance. Just let her hold DD when she's sitting. If MIL starts to stand up holding the baby, just get right up and say, "Oh, I'll take her." Agree with DH in advance that he will do that if he's around.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good thoughts - I plan to have MIL do some feeding in the high chair. I will think on a play situation that might be more comfortable. I guess baby on the floor and MIL on the couch would give them some opportunity to interact.

She's not actually that huge of a mover - what she prefers these days is to be in mommy or daddy's arms and look at other people. I wear her a lot. I can't see MIL in the ergo... though I suppose we could try that.

Baby on the floor and MIL on the couch is not very interactive. I would put baby on the couch or on a chair beside MIL (in a safe way) - especially if she isn't crawling. I think if you carry her all the time and that is what she is used to, then MIL is going to want to carry her as that may be how DD is happiest. I would try the ergo with MIL. High chair is a good idea too.

Anonymous wrote:Good thoughts - I plan to have MIL do some feeding in the high chair. I will think on a play situation that might be more comfortable. I guess baby on the floor and MIL on the couch would give them some opportunity to interact.

She's not actually that huge of a mover - what she prefers these days is to be in mommy or daddy's arms and look at other people. I wear her a lot. I can't see MIL in the ergo... though I suppose we could try that.

Anonymous wrote:Why has she had problems holding her?