Reply to Mean Sister wants to go on Vacation with Us to Be Near our Kids

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[quote=Anonymous]You need to take a cue from your sister and be really direct.  If she can dish it out, then she should be able to take it, and if she cannot then you have much bigger problems and should definitely be avoiding her.

When she brings up a subject you don't wish to discuss, tell her so then and there.  "That's awfully personal, why do you ask?"  Or even just, "I'd rather not discuss that, thanks."

If she says something that hurts your feelings, tell her so right then.  "The comment about my new haircut really hurt my feelings. I think you owe me an apology."

There are a few different ways she might respond to all of this.
1) she genuinely does not mean to be hurtful, and responds to you calling her on her crap by apologizing and learning from her mistakes.
2) she knows that she is hurting you, but passive aggressively get some joy out of taking you down a peg for whatever reason.  If that is the case, she will refuse to take ownership of anything she has done and turned all around on you ("you are so oversensitive"). 
3) she will be uncomfortable that you keep pointing out that the things she is saying are rude or hurtful, but not mature enough to actually try to fix her behavior.  If that is the case, she will back off of you on her.

The reason you cannot enjoy your sisters company is either that you have major boundary issues or that she is a total bitch, but my guess is that it is somewhere in between. She is used to running roughshod over you, and you are used to allowing it. Stop allowing it and see what happens.[/quote]

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