Reply to Opposite gender friends if sex is completely off the table?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I guess this is a rehash of the old "can men and women ever be just friends" debate. But, I was reading the comments in some threads here talking about how men should value women for something other than sex and reading a blog post about a woman who was mad at a man who didn't find her sexually attractive despite her many laudable nonsexual characteristics.

So, I value my wife and other women for things other than their sexual attractiveness. But, if I'm honest, I have to admit that I wouldn't seek out female companionship much, if at all, if sex were completely off the table. When I was single, I hung out with groups that included women, but part of the draw was the potential for hooking up. Now that I'm married, I value my wife for nonsexual aspects of our relationship, but I never would have bothered with marriage if sex were off the table. I don't seek out social relationships with other women now that I'm married. Because, frankly, given professional and family demands, my social time is limited and I prefer the conversational topics, activities, and humor that my male friends enjoy and women mostly don't seem to. (Typical stuff - beer, sports, crass juvenile humor). And often the topics, activities, and humor I see from the women I encounter in my wife's circle are often deeply uninteresting to me.

I'm not saying men are better than women or vice versa. Just that, given what I personally find entertaining and interesting, if it weren't for sex, I'm not sure I ever would have sought out or maintained female companionship.

Guess I'm just trying to figure out if this makes me a misogynistic monster or if the experience and preferences of others lines up in a similar manner. (Or, perhaps, if women typically enjoy nonsexual guy friends while the reverse isn't typically true.) [/quote]

I'm a woman. I have friends of both genders. It sounds like you just assume that men and women are, by virtue of their gender, interested in entirely different things. That has not been the case for me. I become friends with people when I have things in common with them. I do not enjoy the stuff that you listed as being "typical stuff" for men - I like beer, but I don't want to sit around and talk about it, I am not a huge sports fan and I don't really care for juvenile humor. I also do not really care for sitting around discussing designer clothing, "Mommy Wars" issues, etc. (which sort of begs the question of why I'm reading this website at all). Topics of conversation among my friends (all genders): politics, social issues, culture (movies, music, TV, books, etc.), our personal lives, etc. I don't really see those topics as being "gendered" necessarily. I spent a lot of time talking about the SCOTUS Hobby Lobby case with my male friends, even though it pertains to a "women's" issue, and a lot of time talking about the World Cup with my female friends, even though it's a sport and therefore a "men's" issue.[/quote]

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