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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would wait until he actually passes to worry.  My general rule of thumb is that if an event might not happen again (an aged parent celebrating an 80th birthday, or a get together to honor someone else important in my life who may pass), I make the effort to go.  With deaths, I make the decision case-by-case depending on what's happening within my own immediate family.  Same with weddings.  [b]If it's feasible, affordable and not a burden on the immediate family, I go.  If not, then I sent flowers and food.[/b]  Don't fret about it until the moment is upon you.  Just make sure you have a dark dress or suit ready to go and see what makes sense for you and DH when the moment comes.  Good luck
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Are you sincerely sad and want to go to pay your respects or are you going to make an appearance? (To look like you care?) Seriously, it depends on your family finances and if others don't understand that, it's their problem, not yours.

I know people who LOVE to go to funerals and cry a bunch. All for attention. My family loves to attend funerals because it turns into a family reunion. I only go if it is immediate family (and they all live nearby.) I couldn't afford a last minute flight and I certainly wouldn't take my small children.

Good Luck.

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