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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So, we've been married 10 years, but it never gets easier. DH loves his parents and we visit f0r 3 separate weeks a year, but they rarely ever come here (we have 2 little kids, so have often urged that it's easier for them than for us). So, now they're all coming en masse this weekend, sil, mil, and fil - all need separate bedrooms b/c my in laws have never slept together since i've known them and they always have kind of high-end demands once they come here that i never see them have at their home [b](on arrival to DC, they need fresh squeezed OJ - not store bought, and will only eat pastries for breakfast and would prefer that they be fresh - so they'll throw out whichever once didn't get eaten on day 2 and request a re-buy on day 3)...[/b]

but, honestly, the problem is not them and their many idiosyncrasies; its my DH. I think he hates these visits; he is tense for days in advance, kept asking that i hire someone to clean the house (i did) then repeatedly asked me if it would be clean enough... basically, he's been a stress case all week - which will last all wknd, but over the wknd, at the behest of his mother, his anger and stress will turn to the kids (MIL likes children who can be seen and not heard and wants everyone silent and adoring of her) if they do one "bad' thing and towards me - b/c I didn't clean the inside of the bathrom cabinet or something obscure (my SIL is a mere 31, but noses around to find things that are "wrong" and brings them up passiveaggressively- aka, a recent conversation "oh, i like your new house, i mean, its totally like your old one in that it doesn't have any style and its pretty boring, but its great that you guys moved!"

I admit; over the years, I've protected myself by throwing barbs and being snarky, but over the past couple of days, I've realized that the problem with these visits is that is causes a rift between me and DH - any thoughts on how I can approach it? He can not hear a single bad thing about his family and even if they're being awful (even if to him), he just denies it absolutely. he can't bear that they might not be perfect and absolutely can't bear that they might have negative traits...

My parents live in the area and have generously loaned us their car (much bigger than ours and can fit everyone with 2 carseats) and also have offered us one of their 2 parking spots in the city to use for the fireworks (we'd have to go with them - its a secure building - they would drive us into the lot). DH first complained that he didn't want to have to share the fourth with my family, [b]then complained that he would prefer my parents invite his family over formally. [/b]

So, just help. I'm tired, I'm cranky, I took the day off to cook dinner and i"m just spent...[/quote]

If they're such pains in the ass, you can't win either way, right? So why cater to these silly whims at all? It blows my mind how many adults let their childish parents act like spoiled a-holes.[/quote]

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