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[quote=Anonymous]My husband hits our older child (he's 7)- not daily (maybe 3 or so times a month- it's awful), he doesn't leave a mark, and it's not life threatening; as a result of the last two items, Child Protective Services won't take our case. He also yells and screams a lot and can drive very erratically (and fast) if he's angry.  After years of trying different things (counseling- individual and marriage; medication; parenting classes; less stressful job for him, etc) to help my husband, I'm in the process of working w/ a lawyer to develop a separation agreement; it should not be a surprise to my husband.

My major concern is that I don't want my husband to have the kids (age 7 and 3) overnight. That's when he really seems to lose his temper and lash out at my older child (and this of course scares both kids).  I don't want my kids to have to fend for themselves.  Currently the draft separation agreement (keep in mind he has to agree with it) gives him flexible access to the kids during the week, but they return home to me before bedtime; and all day every other Saturday (again, home before bedtime). Where it gets tricky is how to deal with summer vacations and holidays- right now the draft allows him to have the kids over night.

So my question is- does anyone have any ideas about how to deal with this in a way that won't make my husband reject the entire separation agreement?  Has anyone else been in a similar situation? If so, do you have any advice you could share about what worked and what did not work? The only thing I can think of is that if he has the kids overnight I'd like one of his family members there- his parents or sisters, etc.

Thanks- I'm feeling really nervous about moving forward with this, but I have to do something.  [/quote]

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