Reply to Help me come to terms with MIL

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[quote=Anonymous]Someone who has no filter, who is over the top, and who lies and distorts is pretty hard to deal with.  One thing that's helpful is to step back from her behavior and refuse to personalize it.

One reason I get annoyed when my mother makes "non-filtered" remarks is that I feel they reflect on me.  I have to remind myself that she is the one making them.  They are on her, not me.  The world is not judging you for her remarks, OP.

I can also tell you that the more annoyed and judgy you are, OP, the harder it will be for your MIL to be truthful and the more desperate and over the top her attempts to please you with distortions and unfiltered stupid remarks.  This creates a vicious cycle. You get annoyed by the remarks, and the remarks escalate as she becomes more desperate to win you over.

Try to step back and de-escalate.  You are not responsible for her over the top behavior and it's not a reflection on you.  Feel sorry for the little girl inside of her who was so desperate to please her abusive parents that she tried anything, including lying and strange behavior. to please them.  It's a sad story.[/quote]

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