Reply to Ugh, my passive-aggressive parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks all. The problem is, we DO have permanent boundaries. I'm just frustrated because even after we have set the boundaries, and even after they have acknowledged their understanding of our boundaries, they still break them and make excuses a 13-yr-old would make, such as "we didn't know" or "it was an accident." Clearly they knew, as many times is not the first time they've broken one of the boundaries.

So PPs, what do you do when they repeatedly break the permanent boundaries?[/quote]

It would help if you gave examples.

My mom wants me to help clean out her garage and she whines and whines if I don't do it on her timetable. Her life is ending, she'll never be able to move, it's my fault, etc.

I calmly tell her what days I'm available to help, and repeat.  Without discussion.

My father makes ethnic slurs about a particular group, to which my husband belongs.

I calmly tell him not to speak that way about my family, and repeat.  Without discussion.  And leave without comment if I have to.

No arguments. Just repeat boundaries.

[/quote]

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