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[quote=Anonymous]Our DD is MIL's only grandchild and she isn't likely to have any more. MIL loves DD dearly, and we are lucky to have such a caring and involved grandparent. But (there's always a but, right?) MIL has developed a nasty habit of criticizing all other kids in DD's general age range (toddler). For example...

- DD is so much more active and engaging and beautiful than all her friends' grandchildren. She met Jane's granddaughter Larla, and Larla just sat there and played with toys.  Not like DD who really knows how to engage with adults too...(yeah, my toddler's a real superstar at interacting with adults...whatever, MIL)

- DD didn't listen to the teacher at ballet class because "My granddaughter isn't a sheep who just does what she's told. All these other kids are so boring, they probably just practice ballet with their moms all week long" (said loudly in the presence of other mothers during the class).

- My niece (DD's cousin, my brother's daughter so not related to MIL but MIL has met her at family events) must have developmental delays because she didn't walk/talk as quickly as DD did

And it goes on and on...

I know she's proud of her granddaughter and I think my kid is great too, but come on! I was especially offended by the ballet comment because 1) DD should've been listening to the teacher, not running around like a little hellion (yes, I redirected her and she settled down) and 2) MIL shouldn't have been criticizing the other children, but especially not loudly and in front of their parents. I have tried talking to her about it. I've asked her to celebrate DD but not compare her to other kids. I've explained why I was upset at the ballet comments and the comments about my niece. But she either says, "Oh, I didn't say that, you misunderstood," or "I'm not a teacher like you so I don't know all these things about dealing with kids like you do." Ummm...what? I was a middle school teacher for ten years ago which has nothing to do with me asking MIL not to criticize toddlers.

FWIW, over the past few years I have noticed MIL and FIL spending an awful lot of time criticizing their friends/other adults in their family/social circle. I've known them for 15 years and they weren't always so obnoxious - maybe it's age? But regardless of what I say to them, and I have asked several times, they just continue with the same behavior. DH doesn't really see anything wrong with it and believes her when she says "oh, I didn't say that." She rarely says this stuff when he's around. Is there anything I can do to get her to stop? I really don't want to cause a fight, but aside from her behavior just being rude, I don't really need DD constantly hearing these kinds of comments as she gets older.[/quote]

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