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[quote=FruminousBandersnatch][quote=Anonymous]EVERYONE with little kids feels like this at some point, OP. You have my total sympathy.

Suggestions:

1) Stop arguing. Just shut up already.

2) Stop trying to run the show. Recognize that some of this is YOUR CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR and let it go. Everything doesn't have to be done your way, and your way is not always the perfect way.

No, in the long run, it would not be easier without your DH around. Separating would create a whole new set of problems you haven't even thought of yet.

You really do have my sympathy. The little kid years are hard, hard, hard. I promise it gets easier.[/quote]

I agree with the PP. It's important to recognize the difference between an acceptable way to do things and the way you would do things.

If DH is taking them off your hands or doing things to help, let him do it his way as long as that's not endangering the kids or creating a different problem.

If DH is doing things the way the two of you have always done them, but now that kids are in the picture it causes a problem, he needs to understand why the behavior has to change.

You're carrying a lot of stress because you can't yell at the kids - no matter how frustrated you get. When DW is yelling at me I try to listen for whether it's something I did or something she's venting energy about because she can't yell at the kids. When you're [i][b]asking[/b][/i] DH to do things differently per my previous points, try to listen for that frustration/energy/anger in your voice.

Finally, if you're anything like us, you're losing (or have lost) the time that you and DH connect. Make at least some time in bed (if nowhere else) after the kids go to sleep to talk to each other as husband and wife, not as parents. [/quote]

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