Reply to Help- advice needed regarding leaving a note for family member who smells

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[quote=Anonymous]I posted a while back about the fact that my mother smells REALLY BAD.  This has been an ongoing issue for years and when she visits (which is rarely) I get really tense and angry about it because I am embarrassed.  She arrived last night after spending a few days at my sister's house.  I called my sister ahead of time and asked her if she had been showering and she said "actually yes, she's showered every day and I haven't noticed any issues this time".  So I was hopeful. Anyway, so she arrived last night and while I didn;t notice a bad smell, she didn't necessarily smell :fresh" either.  Her hair was also in need of a shampoo.  So, I showed her to the guest room and then said- here is a towel so you can shower tonight and shampoo and soap are in there so you can wash your hair.  And she says "Oh, I'll shower tomorrow while the kids are at school and you guys are at work so I'm not in anyone's way".  So I get home from work and I go into the bathroom and the bath is bone dry, her towel is bone dry and her hair is still dirty.  I say "Mom, did you shower"?  and she says "Yes".  I said "What shampoo did you use"?  and she says "Oh I had a travel one I used from a hotel".  I wasn't about to call her bluff in front of my two kids but I could feel the anger rising because it's just so weird to me that someone would a. not shower daily, and b. lie about it.  So I am at the point now where I am full of anxiety about the fact that she now smells and we have ONE bathroom in our place, I am mortified that she smells and I am sure my husband has noticed and the kids HAVE because my son asked why the house always has a "funny smell" when she visits  :shock:   So I was considering writing her a note and leaving it for her tomorrow that she can read in peace while we are gone at work/school so she can read it and react in private.  What do I write????

Dear Mom,

The last thing I want to do is embarrass you or make you feel uncomfortable, but I have noticed the last few times you have visited that you have not showered regularly and you have not been smelling clean or fresh.  The kids have noticed it and asked me too.  Can you please shower and wash yourself well, shampoo your hair and wear fresh clothes while you are here?  We have such a short time to visit and I don't want to spend it with everyone feeling uncomfortable.

Love,
Me

Thoughts?[/quote]

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