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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you are not the only one.  DS is also ADHD and no, he is not on meds.  His grades are not suffering so far.  He has learned a lot of tactics to manage his ADHD to his advantage and to channel his extra energy into other activities.  In other words, we got ourselves a huge drama geek and a voracious reader.  Oh, and he's a class clown.  So far, no major complaints from ES, MS and now HS.

FWIW, diagnosed at 10 with ADHD.  [/quote]

OP here, thanks for the reply. DS [i]is[/i] the class clown and the teachers hate that. I was sad to hear many of the other moms chatting about what drugs their child is on. Then the doses and that special dose just to get homework done....
My son can not write anything down. He has no patience and does math in his head rather than write. I have sat and watched the other kids (mostly girls) carefully writing out tons of work. Paragraphs long. 
DS is 9 and labeled by teachers as trouble. He is smart and they mention that in a patronizing way.
His self esteem is taking a dive, and I suspect that meds would make him feel less like a standout.
One day he told me that he does not understand why all the other kids in the neighborhood do not want to play as much as he does. That was a cute statement, but it saddened me. [/quote]

It sounds like you really need to talk to your developmental pediatrician.  My son was the same way and the"drugs" turned his life around.  After a while, your child's self-esteem will begin to plummet and he will become ostracized by his peer group and labeled a trouble maker by his teachers.  Just imagine being 10 years old and experiencing this?[/quote]

The self esteem issues come from the teachers (and some parents don't want him around). 
You know, 40 years ago, there were tons of kids like him in class. I remember my 5th grade class with five boys who were clowns. They fooled around in many ways. Some straightened out by HS and some went on to jobs that they could handle with their personalities (one is a big landscaper in the DC area). I "selfishly" wish that DD just had more friends like himself. Where has that gang of quirky boys gone?
FWIW, at our HS reunion, the gang of mischievous boys had great things to say about their days in ES. One did say that when it came time to hit the books, it was very hard to catch up, but he did. [/quote]

You are a bit misguided about the good old days.  Kids with untreated ADHD had disproportionate rates of substance abuse, dropping out of school and getting in trouble with the law.  Sure, some made it through successfully, my DH was one.  But for every kid like my DH, there's a bunch who struggled, who were labeled "bad" and believed they were bad, who fell off the rails and never made it back.

You are blaming the teachers and I don't doubt they are struggling with him and not always handling him the way they should.  But I have no idea what you  are waiting for here. Your DS isn't going to get these years back and at some point the plummeting self-esteem, and school struggles will reach a tipping point and be very difficult to repair.  What seems charming now (He's a class clown!) will not be charming wen he's 15.

Both my kids have ADHD and take medication.  It is not like steroids and does not give them an unfair advantage.  It allows them to function like the other kids. I have no idea what your block is about this.  Its your DS who is suffering for it.[/quote]

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