Forgot to say that my son is not on meds either.
DH and I (doctor and scientist) have researched the issue, and know that efficacy diminishes after a couple of years (reasons are complex). Also, many meds suppress appetite, which would be bad for my undersized DS.

Reasons: experts disagree on which are more important, but they comprise
1. Failure by patients to follow exact protocols.
2. Hormonal changes and growth spurts affecting response to meds, hence a lot of switching around in the teen years, and dealing with unpleasant physical, mental and behavioral side effects.
3. Finally, and that is the big problem, loss of efficacy in the medication itself. Is the brain habituated? Million dollar question.

So we are saving the meds for when DS can simply not function anymore.

OP, I hear you.

There is a child in my son's 3rd grade class who is the fidgety "class clown" and the teacher really has it in for him. It pains me to hear the teacher call him out on his behavior every 5 minutes, literally. There has got to be a better way! That poor child is bright and not malicious, and probably feels awful about it.

My son has ADD, inattentive, with an IEP, and daydreams without annoying the others, so does not draw the teacher's fire.

You need to revisit this with his doctors, maybe get an IEP or at least a 504 in place with the school so that subsequent teachers know there is a medical reason for his behavior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are not the only one. DS is also ADHD and no, he is not on meds. His grades are not suffering so far. He has learned a lot of tactics to manage his ADHD to his advantage and to channel his extra energy into other activities. In other words, we got ourselves a huge drama geek and a voracious reader. Oh, and he's a class clown. So far, no major complaints from ES, MS and now HS.

FWIW, diagnosed at 10 with ADHD.

OP here, thanks for the reply. DS is the class clown and the teachers hate that. I was sad to hear many of the other moms chatting about what drugs their child is on. Then the doses and that special dose just to get homework done....
My son can not write anything down. He has no patience and does math in his head rather than write. I have sat and watched the other kids (mostly girls) carefully writing out tons of work. Paragraphs long.
DS is 9 and labeled by teachers as trouble. He is smart and they mention that in a patronizing way.
His self esteem is taking a dive, and I suspect that meds would make him feel less like a standout.
One day he told me that he does not understand why all the other kids in the neighborhood do not want to play as much as he does. That was a cute statement, but it saddened me.

It sounds like you really need to talk to your developmental pediatrician. My son was the same way and the"drugs" turned his life around. After a while, your child's self-esteem will begin to plummet and he will become ostracized by his peer group and labeled a trouble maker by his teachers. Just imagine being 10 years old and experiencing this?

The self esteem issues come from the teachers (and some parents don't want him around).
You know, 40 years ago, there were tons of kids like him in class. I remember my 5th grade class with five boys who were clowns. They fooled around in many ways. Some straightened out by HS and some went on to jobs that they could handle with their personalities (one is a big landscaper in the DC area). I "selfishly" wish that DD just had more friends like himself. Where has that gang of quirky boys gone?
FWIW, at our HS reunion, the gang of mischievous boys had great things to say about their days in ES. One did say that when it came time to hit the books, it was very hard to catch up, but he did.

You are a bit misguided about the good old days. Kids with untreated ADHD had disproportionate rates of substance abuse, dropping out of school and getting in trouble with the law. Sure, some made it through successfully, my DH was one. But for every kid like my DH, there's a bunch who struggled, who were labeled "bad" and believed they were bad, who fell off the rails and never made it back.

You are blaming the teachers and I don't doubt they are struggling with him and not always handling him the way they should. But I have no idea what you are waiting for here. Your DS isn't going to get these years back and at some point the plummeting self-esteem, and school struggles will reach a tipping point and be very difficult to repair. What seems charming now (He's a class clown!) will not be charming wen he's 15.

Both my kids have ADHD and take medication. It is not like steroids and does not give them an unfair advantage. It allows them to function like the other kids. I have no idea what your block is about this. Its your DS who is suffering for it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are not the only one. DS is also ADHD and no, he is not on meds. His grades are not suffering so far. He has learned a lot of tactics to manage his ADHD to his advantage and to channel his extra energy into other activities. In other words, we got ourselves a huge drama geek and a voracious reader. Oh, and he's a class clown. So far, no major complaints from ES, MS and now HS.

FWIW, diagnosed at 10 with ADHD.

OP here, thanks for the reply. DS is the class clown and the teachers hate that. I was sad to hear many of the other moms chatting about what drugs their child is on. Then the doses and that special dose just to get homework done....
My son can not write anything down. He has no patience and does math in his head rather than write. I have sat and watched the other kids (mostly girls) carefully writing out tons of work. Paragraphs long.
DS is 9 and labeled by teachers as trouble. He is smart and they mention that in a patronizing way.
His self esteem is taking a dive, and I suspect that meds would make him feel less like a standout.
One day he told me that he does not understand why all the other kids in the neighborhood do not want to play as much as he does. That was a cute statement, but it saddened me.

It sounds like you really need to talk to your developmental pediatrician. My son was the same way and the"drugs" turned his life around. After a while, your child's self-esteem will begin to plummet and he will become ostracized by his peer group and labeled a trouble maker by his teachers. Just imagine being 10 years old and experiencing this?

The self esteem issues come from the teachers (and some parents don't want him around).
You know, 40 years ago, there were tons of kids like him in class. I remember my 5th grade class with five boys who were clowns. They fooled around in many ways. Some straightened out by HS and some went on to jobs that they could handle with their personalities (one is a big landscaper in the DC area). I "selfishly" wish that DD just had more friends like himself. Where has that gang of quirky boys gone?
FWIW, at our HS reunion, the gang of mischievous boys had great things to say about their days in ES. One did say that when it came time to hit the books, it was very hard to catch up, but he did.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are not the only one. DS is also ADHD and no, he is not on meds. His grades are not suffering so far. He has learned a lot of tactics to manage his ADHD to his advantage and to channel his extra energy into other activities. In other words, we got ourselves a huge drama geek and a voracious reader. Oh, and he's a class clown. So far, no major complaints from ES, MS and now HS.

FWIW, diagnosed at 10 with ADHD.

My 7yo is definitely a class clown and chatterbox so on a continuous behavior plan for chattering and distracting others. I do not plan to put him on meds unless his behavior deteriorates meaningfully. To the PP: how did you cope in elementary school with the constant feedback from teachers that he talks to much or distracts others? Did yours mature and get better about that, or do you just accept that as long as the grades are good, the conduct issues are just something to be managed on a day-to-day basis, but not to get too wrapped up in or excited about?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are not the only one. DS is also ADHD and no, he is not on meds. His grades are not suffering so far. He has learned a lot of tactics to manage his ADHD to his advantage and to channel his extra energy into other activities. In other words, we got ourselves a huge drama geek and a voracious reader. Oh, and he's a class clown. So far, no major complaints from ES, MS and now HS.

FWIW, diagnosed at 10 with ADHD.

OP here, thanks for the reply. DS is the class clown and the teachers hate that. I was sad to hear many of the other moms chatting about what drugs their child is on. Then the doses and that special dose just to get homework done....
My son can not write anything down. He has no patience and does math in his head rather than write. I have sat and watched the other kids (mostly girls) carefully writing out tons of work. Paragraphs long.
DS is 9 and labeled by teachers as trouble. He is smart and they mention that in a patronizing way.
His self esteem is taking a dive, and I suspect that meds would make him feel less like a standout.
One day he told me that he does not understand why all the other kids in the neighborhood do not want to play as much as he does. That was a cute statement, but it saddened me.

How are his grades? Plummeting self-esteem is a major issue. These are the kids who will start to self medicate with alcohol and drugs when they get a little older if you keep holding out. Not liking the idea/stigma of medication is not a reason to make your kid suffer. In fact, it's pretty selfish.

Now, now, let's not start getting nasty. There are many reasons why parents choose to have their kids take medication or not take medication. Not every kid with ADHD needs or benefits from medication.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are not the only one. DS is also ADHD and no, he is not on meds. His grades are not suffering so far. He has learned a lot of tactics to manage his ADHD to his advantage and to channel his extra energy into other activities. In other words, we got ourselves a huge drama geek and a voracious reader. Oh, and he's a class clown. So far, no major complaints from ES, MS and now HS.

FWIW, diagnosed at 10 with ADHD.

OP here, thanks for the reply. DS is the class clown and the teachers hate that. I was sad to hear many of the other moms chatting about what drugs their child is on. Then the doses and that special dose just to get homework done....
My son can not write anything down. He has no patience and does math in his head rather than write. I have sat and watched the other kids (mostly girls) carefully writing out tons of work. Paragraphs long.
DS is 9 and labeled by teachers as trouble. He is smart and they mention that in a patronizing way.
His self esteem is taking a dive, and I suspect that meds would make him feel less like a standout.
One day he told me that he does not understand why all the other kids in the neighborhood do not want to play as much as he does. That was a cute statement, but it saddened me.

How are his grades? Plummeting self-esteem is a major issue. These are the kids who will start to self medicate with alcohol and drugs when they get a little older if you keep holding out. Not liking the idea/stigma of medication is not a reason to make your kid suffer. In fact, it's pretty selfish.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are not the only one. DS is also ADHD and no, he is not on meds. His grades are not suffering so far. He has learned a lot of tactics to manage his ADHD to his advantage and to channel his extra energy into other activities. In other words, we got ourselves a huge drama geek and a voracious reader. Oh, and he's a class clown. So far, no major complaints from ES, MS and now HS.

FWIW, diagnosed at 10 with ADHD.

OP here, thanks for the reply. DS is the class clown and the teachers hate that. I was sad to hear many of the other moms chatting about what drugs their child is on. Then the doses and that special dose just to get homework done....
My son can not write anything down. He has no patience and does math in his head rather than write. I have sat and watched the other kids (mostly girls) carefully writing out tons of work. Paragraphs long.
DS is 9 and labeled by teachers as trouble. He is smart and they mention that in a patronizing way.
His self esteem is taking a dive, and I suspect that meds would make him feel less like a standout.
One day he told me that he does not understand why all the other kids in the neighborhood do not want to play as much as he does. That was a cute statement, but it saddened me.

It sounds like you really need to talk to your developmental pediatrician. My son was the same way and the"drugs" turned his life around. After a while, your child's self-esteem will begin to plummet and he will become ostracized by his peer group and labeled a trouble maker by his teachers. Just imagine being 10 years old and experiencing this?

Same age and diagnosis and no meds. At first we held off because it wasn't affecting him at school. Then we tried a stimulant and he couldn't handle the side effects. So, no meds for us. We have all sorts of other supports and interventions in place but it is still very, very tough.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are not the only one. DS is also ADHD and no, he is not on meds. His grades are not suffering so far. He has learned a lot of tactics to manage his ADHD to his advantage and to channel his extra energy into other activities. In other words, we got ourselves a huge drama geek and a voracious reader. Oh, and he's a class clown. So far, no major complaints from ES, MS and now HS.

FWIW, diagnosed at 10 with ADHD.

OP here, thanks for the reply. DS is the class clown and the teachers hate that. I was sad to hear many of the other moms chatting about what drugs their child is on. Then the doses and that special dose just to get homework done....
My son can not write anything down. He has no patience and does math in his head rather than write. I have sat and watched the other kids (mostly girls) carefully writing out tons of work. Paragraphs long.
DS is 9 and labeled by teachers as trouble. He is smart and they mention that in a patronizing way.
His self esteem is taking a dive, and I suspect that meds would make him feel less like a standout.
One day he told me that he does not understand why all the other kids in the neighborhood do not want to play as much as he does. That was a cute statement, but it saddened me.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are not the only one. DS is also ADHD and no, he is not on meds. His grades are not suffering so far. He has learned a lot of tactics to manage his ADHD to his advantage and to channel his extra energy into other activities. In other words, we got ourselves a huge drama geek and a voracious reader. Oh, and he's a class clown. So far, no major complaints from ES, MS and now HS.

FWIW, diagnosed at 10 with ADHD.

I think it depends on the child. My DS is 11 and has been on ADHD meds for 2 years. He is much better on the meds than off. It would be difficult for him to get through a school day and I could forget about homework getting done. I wish he could go without medication but right now I don't believe it is possible. Even on the meds, he still needs reminders about tasks. Count yourself lucky if your DS can go without the meds but know that other parents may not have a choice if they want to see their child succeed and not suffer.

My 9 year old has ADHD and is not on meds. We'll talk about it if his grades suffer or if he starts to get in trouble.

Anonymous wrote:Or at least it seems that way. So he is a stand out and the teachers can't stand it. He is ADD and his symptoms are typical.
Is this like steroids and sports? That is, if you aren't taking them and everyone else is, you'll never win?

You mean other than the fact that steroids are illegal?

OP, you are not the only one. DS is also ADHD and no, he is not on meds. His grades are not suffering so far. He has learned a lot of tactics to manage his ADHD to his advantage and to channel his extra energy into other activities. In other words, we got ourselves a huge drama geek and a voracious reader. Oh, and he's a class clown. So far, no major complaints from ES, MS and now HS.

FWIW, diagnosed at 10 with ADHD.

Or at least it seems that way. So he is a stand out and the teachers can't stand it. He is ADD and his symptoms are typical.
Is this like steroids and sports? That is, if you aren't taking them and everyone else is, you'll never win?