Reply to Future MIL (doesn't care for me) Mother's Day Question

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You know, I'd have a hard time respecting a man who was cutting off his mom, difficult or not. I'm not saying he shouldn't stand up for you, he should. But honestly families experience these strains all the time.  I mean, did she say "run for the hills, Joey, she's a manipulative whore!" Or something more like "Joey, I just don't think Elle is good for you. You aren't yourself anymore. You don't seem happy." Neither is fun to hear, but should be responded to very differently.

So if I were in your shoes, I'd keep encouraging him to reach out to her. I'd ask him what types of appropriate boundaries would help him maintain a relationship with his mom without feeling disrespected. Barring physical or verbal abuse, there has to be a happy medium in there somewhere.

If he doesn't make a reasonable effort, I'd think long and hard about his ability to negotiate difficult situations with loved ones. This all assumes he has a relatively normal relationship and that no abuse (emotional or otherwise) is going on.
[/quote]

He hasn't cut her off, he just hasn't reached out.  Her actions/words were directed at me and her response to her son was more negativity aimed at me.  He would answer or respond to her attempts if she had any, he just has no desire to make those attempts after her behavior, which was in-between your examples.  I have encouraged him to reach out and I know he will (hell, he'll be forced to soon) if she doesn't make an effort.

As I mentioned, she is very self centered, and that narcissistic behavior has taken a toll on his relationship with her.  He avoids her bc he doesn't like drama and I hope it mends soon bc I don't like drama!  I also do not believe that you should keep toxic people in your life simply bc they're family, even a parent.  I am not at all implying that she would be put in that category, just responding to your initial statement.

Thanks for taking the time to respond![/quote]

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