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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. I didn't mean to imply that my kids don't work or that they are lazy. They aren't-they just don't go to private schools or have private tutoring.  I don't think it's fair to say that her kids have worked harder than my kids. A lot of it is environment. One thing I am very focused on at this point is saving money so we can move to a better area and enroll the kids in better schools. They are still young (elementary school age) and it's important to me that we move prior to the time they go to middle school.

When I stated that I withdrew from the competition I meant that I chose not to push myself very hard. I was worried that if it appeared that I cared about succeeding and tried and failed it would be worse than trying at all. That was a bad choice and one that I regret but I can't go back 30 years and change history (I don't think I even really understood what I was doing at the time).  I chose to focus on getting attention from guys, partying, etc. which was a mistake but as horrible as this sounds it was an area in which I "succeeded." After high school I went to college but not a very good one and I got okay grades but I could have done much better if I would have applied myself.

In terms of what I specifically feel is lacking in my life...well, I can honestly say that if I didn't have such a high achieving sibling I would be okay with my life. My life is pretty good, actually. My marriage is good, I love my kids dearly and my job is fine-not great, but okay. Of course, I'd love to have more money but if that would involve working crazy hours I wouldn't want to do that. I need to focus more on that and less on feeling badly in comparison to her. It's hard because my parents and other family members are very impressed with her lifestyle and I get tired of hearing about it. However, I agree with Eleanor Roosevelt's quote-no one can make you feel inferior without your permission. I have allowed myself to feel this way.

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