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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH and I just had an argument over putting his mother as the Emergency pickup person for our preschool, and I need some perspective.

DH basically says there's no option but to put MIL. MIL has been campaigning for this ever since we got into preschool (and I suspect part of it is because DH wants the option to have her pick up on his days so that he can work late and not worry about it).

My take is that she's not a safe driver, and really not capable of caring for DS unsupervised (and certainly not in an emergency situation). I base this on:
- Before we had DS (first grandchild) she basically refused to drive anywhere except the grocery store a few blocks[b] from her house on a residential road because driving was "too scary" and she "wasn't up for it." She probably hasn't driven on the Beltway in 10 years[/b]. Now that she has a grandkid she announces all these plans to me to "drive into the city to go to the Smithsonian" and "drive to the zoo" and this and that. He's still young and I haven't let her do that yet, mainly because it scares me that one minute she considered even driving herself to the dentist to be beyond her, and now she wants to take my kid and drive 45+min on roads much faster and more congested than she's used to.
- [b]She's incredibly blasé about carseats[/b], no matter how much I try to talk to her about it. I have zero confidence that if I installed the seat in her car and showed her how to position DS in it, tighten the straps, etc. that she'd get him in there right. She's made remarks like "I don't see why you have to do up the straps" and "why don't we just leave the chest clip undone so he can breathe a little?"
- [b]She's increasingly forgetful.[/b] She can't, for example, spell DS's name correctly (it's 4 letters long, not made up or uncommon) or remember his birthday. I feel these would be relevant pieces of information in an emergency situation.
-[b] She's increasingly physically weak[/b]. It's hell for her to get down on the floor to play with him, and she's bad on the stairs (at her house, she actually refuses to hold DS while going up/down stairs, but she insists she'd manage if she were on her own).

[b]DS is 18months, and incredibly active, squirmy, always running around.[/b] He darts into the road, is always climbing things, and you need to be quick to catch him.

DH thinks I'm being unreasonable, and that he should just have his Mom on call to do pickup and all sorts of other childcare. Neither he nor FIL seem to notice or accept her limitations. MIL herself is very cautious on her own, but suddenly says she's "up for anything" when DS is involved.

As for an alternative, I want to put a close friend of mine who is a SAHM and has a son the same age as our emergency pickup. Of course, DH is against this because he wants to "keep it in the family" and he wouldn't be anywhere near as comfortable calling her to have her pick DS up on his designated night if it wasn't an emergency (so he could work late, for example).

We're at a standstill. WWYD?[/quote]

Heck no.  Based on what you've described (I bolded the things that really stood out to me), I wouldn't have her be the emergency pick up person.

FWIW, my mom has the exact same limitations and we took her off the emergency pick up list when we realized that she wasn't going to be able to handle DD in an emergency or otherwise.  It sucks because it would be great to be able to have my mom be a back up for DH and me in a pinch.  But way too risky.  My mom also has a very cavalier attitude about car seats and I think she's overwhelmed by the "techical" aspect of putting a kid in the straps.  [/quote]

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