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[quote=Anonymous]I have a similar problem with my mother, and it makes me feel better to see that others deal with it too. In my case, my mother is not very "grandmotherly", not that into kids, gave only a very small (little toy) gift at our baby shower, misses his birthdays for things like tennis, when she's around him she doesn't interact except to pull up an app on her phone and give it to him to play with - all HER choices - and yet she is incredibly resentful of my MIL who is enamored with her grandchildren, spends tons of quality time with them, gives lovely and thoughtful gifts, and helps us out a LOT.

Unfortunately the resentment is channeled at me - apparently I'm a horrible person because my mother isn't close with my son. She thinks it's my fault he isn't close with her, and that it's because of me that he is so close with my MIL. WTF? It's actually a really painful scenario for me, and has really hurt my relationship with my mom. But I can't do anything about it. I try to never mention my in-laws around her, and to make my son available when she does make an effort, but that's all I can do. I'm not going to limit my son's time with his other grandmother so that my own mother can feel better about not having a great relationship with him. Meanwhile, I'm in therapy to work out how painful it is on my end to have lost what I thought was a decent relationship with my mother over this issue.

All of that to say .. it sucks, but I would definitely rather my mother be trying to match MIL's efforts than to blame her limited relationship with my son on me. :( I agree that this stems from insecurity and anxiety though.[/quote]

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