Reply to Dealing with chronic lateness--VENT

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh, I'm a bitch about stuff like that. I'll wait 15 minutes and if I haven't heard from you I just go on with my life. And I never EVER count on people to babysit if they're always late.

Grandma: Why haven't you asked me to babysit all month? I miss Larla.
Me: Oh! Because you're always late and we lose our reservation and don't get to see the movie. So it just wasn't working out. But tomorrow we'll be at the park from 2-4 if you want to meet us there.

And then I would go to the park from 2-4, and if she showed up at 3:55 right as we were packing up I'd say "I'm so glad we got to visit with you for a few minutes, but we're expected somewhere and need to leave now. Love you, bye!" If she is all wait wait, I only got two minutes I'd smile sadly and say "I know, I wish we had more time together too, but we only had from 2-4 here today, and we're expected somewhere else and can't be late. Sorry, bye!" AND THEN WE KEEP WALKING.

As I said, I am a bitch. But you teach people how to treat you. If it's a one time thing, or only ten minutes, that's fine. But not when I'm depending on you so I can arrive somewhere else, not when it's a half hour or more each time, not when it's on a regular basis, not when the only reason is that you simply haven't managed to get your shit together. [/quote]

This right here. No more babysitting. Definitely start without them. Blame the kids' schedules if you need to, but just move along.  That is the way to handle the ILs.

Save your energy to fight a bigger battle with DH. You might need to use some of the same tactics on him.

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