Reply to Family blocking help for mother

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Family blocking help for mother"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]pp have you been through this? I am asking in a non snarky way as I don't know how to accomplish this when my mom refuses.  How did you do this with an unwilling parent? I am wondering APS also forces this when someone is in danger? I do believe my mom is in danger to herself but I am trying to figure out how this forced without being violent..I am imagining someone in the white coat at her house. Geez getting old really sucks. I would hate to be in the situation. Makes me remind myself to have a plan when I am older to go to a place that has steps ie living indepdendantly, assisted and then full nursing.[/quote]

Yes, we are going through this now and it is a nightmare.  We ended up moving my MIL in our home and its been horrible to say the least but it was our only option.  She was in a bad situation and while we called APS and other folks none could do anything as she was not in danger.  Danger is a relative term and your standard vs. their standard are two different things.  We did not give my MIL a choice.  We waited as long as we could but then flew out there once to visit, did not like what we saw and made plans and flew out there to go get her and bring her home.  She had basically nothing and we had to rebut her everything.  We are just figuring it all out now.  She probably has a combination of depression and dementia which is exactly what we are going through.  Hopkins has a clinic to deal with it and we have an appointment set up.  We are having a terrible time getting her into a nursing home.  The gov't will not pay for assisted living.  If you are in Maryland, do call and get her on the medicaid waiver program - that pays for assisted living but it is about a 4-6 year minimum wait.  You just have to call and giver her name/your contact information.  I would move her here as there is no one willing to look in on her if she stays there.  That is what happened to us.  We have lots of family where she was but no one was doing anything and her other son basically walked away from the situation.  If she is low income there are several low income independent living programs that have shorter waits.  We cannot do one of those.  There is an lower cost assisted living in Silver Spring for about $2600 but she does not have that kind of money.  Or, if there is very low income (social security) and limited assets (spouse can keep the house, car and some money) then you can get the medicaid long term care but it is proving very hard for us and near impossible to find a nursing home to take the medicaid.  I look at it is how I'd want my kids to treat me.  They watch everything so if we did not step in, how will they look at that and treat me when I am old.

You are at the point where your only option is to bring her to you and get her evaluated and make a plan from there.  It sucks.  There are really no good options.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics