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[quote=Anonymous]Things came to a head with my mother a year ago - she said some horrible things just when I was facing a particularly difficult situation and was quite vulnerable as a result. I so badly wanted to cut her off and never see or talk to her again.

DH persuaded me not to, and a year later I am glad he did. First, it would have been hard for me to keep a relationship with my Dad; and second, I have to accept that my mother is limited due to her personality and neglected/abusive upbringing, and thus cannot help herself.

I moved halfway across the world to distance myself from her, so at least visits are rare. We phone each other often but somehow that is much less tense because I know I can just hang up if she becomes abusive. This allows me to maintain a loving relationship with her, while avoiding her.

One last thing. Staying busy (easy to do with little kids!) helps me forget, and forgetting what she has done to me is key - I get riled up when I remember. Forgiveness is still eluding me, but I am sure will come in time.
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