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[quote=Anonymous]So it has been a long road in getting past my issues and battling anxiety and at this point in my life, I'm the calmest and most content I've ever been.  Brief history is that I had a ton of issues with both parents, father committed suicide and my mother is narcissistic, competitive, emotionally abusive, insecure and unreliable.  My mom lives in the area and while she is dysfunctional in many ways - she can be a loving, affectionate mom and truly loves and is delighted my child.  There are also certain attributes I have gotten from her and her upbringing of me that I love (e.g. she is intellectual and artistic, loves to cook & set a beautiful table etc).  I am keeping her in my life especially because I want my kids to have a good relationship with their grandma.  I've seen 2 excellent therapists, was on SRRIs for 1 year, battled anxiety with cognitive behavioral therapy, refocused my perspective on my husband, family & career, run & do yoga regularly, turned to faith, read books on anxiety, parents& anger....and after all that, I feel that the last remaining hurdle is to get over the anger.

I know that the thought processes and realizations have to come to me in my own time, but I was wondering if anyone else is at this stage.  
What do you tell yourselves and how do you stop being angry?  How do you let go off 1/5/10 year old anger for emotional abuse, lies, bad decisions that affected your life?  I've had some success with
-she did the best she could, given who she was
-my life, in one sense, is unaffected by her because I have a happy marriage, wonderful kids and a great career 
-holding on to the anger doesn't do anything and I need to stop trying to punish her (e.g. by comparing my mothering of my own children to bad decisions she made in similar circumstances)

How do you get past the anger?
Thanks.  [/quote]

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