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[quote=Anonymous]After I graduated college I worked in my parent's home country for a year, just for fun.  While there I met and fell in love with DH and got married a few months after I left.  My cousins in said country were pretty mean- they made fun of my appearance (mostly because I am not a "girly-girl" as they are encouraged to be) to my face, they told me I have bad taste and refused to be my bridesmaids, and various petty stupid things.  I wasn't expecting them to be my best buddies or anything but I was fairly hurt by this behavior.  Six years later, one of these cousins came to visit the US.  I decided that even though she really wasn't my friend or anything, I was going to be nice.  I made a big effort to take her all over the place and show her a good time, shopping, the beach, etc.  She is engaged and is going to come to the US and live here, and she told everyone in my family she felt she had made friends with me.  She came back again and is staying in my parents' house for another two months, after her engagement party.  She expects me to visit and entertain her once again.  She also said something mean to her father about me (that my parents won't mind her staying with them for months at a time because she is a "breath of fresh air" next to me and my husband (it's a hard term to translate, but she basically meant that she is more pleasant than us and better to have around)).  After the effort I made and all the time I spent with her, this hurt my feelings again.  Why my parents relayed this to me and were shit-stirrers about it, I don't know.

The thing is, I don't want to visit her again, or be friends right now.  After spending time with her, I just felt sort of tired and used.  I thought I would let bygones be bygones, but I didn't.  I feel like she is only being friendly with me because I am the only person in this country that she knows, and that when I was alone in her country, she made a point of letting me know she didn't actually give a crap about me.  I kind of want friendships with people who just like me for who I am, and not just because it's expedient at the moment.  And she's really quite pleasant, a good listener, etc, but we really don't have a lot in common.  I am confused about my own emotions and feel like I am being petty, but I don't know how to get over it.  Does anyone have any perspective or guidance here?  TIA![/quote]

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