Reply to your spouse should not dictate the terms of your life

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hugs, OP.  I'm in a similar situation.  At what point do you cut it off?  My DH has depression/ADHD.  He's got an addiction to tobacco which he currently satisfies with chewing tobacco.  Of course, I'd prefer he not use it but understand why he does.  However, with the additional stressors and demands of having a family, his depression and ADHD are magnified and swing back and forth.  I've supported him in every way I can but he just doesn't do enough to manage his conditions.  He has problems regulating his emotions and it definitely has an impact on our home life.  The question I struggle with is at what point does it become unhealthy for the kids?  Two of our kids have ADHD and have similar struggles but they're kids and I'm working to help them develop the skills they need to compensate.  What about when it's an adult?  [/quote]

[b]You can not equate tobacco addiction to Alcohol or[/b] drugs because, while tobacco is addictive, the negative consequences are long term health. That is like saying I have addiction issues because I need three cubs of coffee a day.  I am physically addicted to caffeine, but it does not have negative side effects.[/quote]

Actually, that is not true.

Many smokers will:

-Not want to go places where they cannot smoke
-Will always be thinking about their next cigarette. This is a major distraction and becomes obvious to those who live with the smoker. It can affect the family in that the smoking seems to be the smoker's first priority, and something she is always thinking about
-They are very expensive and can be a drain on finances
-They have detrimental physical health affects to the smoker, and possibly those around the smoker
-Physical and emotional withdrawal symptoms are very frequently present

I'm not saying it is 100% the same as an addiction to hard drugs, but this is something I have given a lot of thought to, and believe me when I say the affects on the smoker and family members can be surprisingly similar.[/quote]

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