Reply to your spouse should not dictate the terms of your life

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "your spouse should not dictate the terms of your life"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I have been navigating a very difficult marriage for some time now, and while I am still attempting to work things out, my spouse's addiction issues and behaviors around that may make that impossible to achieve. We have an 8 year old daughter who deserves a functional happy home. She mostly has that, but my husbands issues threaten to destabilize it, and I will not live in contradiction with what I teach my child.

As I sit and think about all I have been through, all the hope I have had and support I have given, and how in a moment of relapse that is not only completely unappreciated, but I am somehow framed as being unreasonable, I think: this man, despite his many positive qualities, has issues that determine the quality of my life. And our childs life. And that simply should not be. Period.

Im just saying this to give courage to any of you in similar situations. Its ok to be supportive to someone who is trying to work out their issues, but you must also recognize when those issues are controlling your life and face that, better late than never. I have been back and forth to varying degrees of realizing this, while trying to actually be present and deal with circumstances with as much integrity and positive energy I can muster. People meet me and think of me as incredbilty intelligent and accomplished, but I have no career to support myself. If I had, I would be in a very different situation right now. I would be able to decide once and for all how I want to live and refuse to live any other way. That could mean divorce or just a very different marriage, one in which my financial dependence was no longer a factor.

Im 45 and I may not have much time left to make this change, but damnit, I refuse to have anyone tell me how I get to live my life for whatever of it remains. (I had a friend die recently, and my mom died at age 50, Im 45, thus the morbid component- no worries, Im not suicidal!) Especially due to another persons issues.

Hope this strikes a chord for someone.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics