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[quote=Anonymous]My DD was this way -- super high verbal, high-but-not-great math test scores + shouting "I'm not good at math!", throwing her pencil/book, etc..

I don't have a magic cure all.  I just forced her to learn her math facts with the hope that what would be taught in school would come easier to her once the math facts were in her head.  There wasn't an easy solution.  I even consulted with her reg. teacher and the adv. math teacher to tell them it wasn't working (being in adv. math).  They assured me that she should be in adv. math.

We got through 3rd grade, and kept the wheels greased all summer by doing 2 pages of a 4th grade workbook each day.  4th grade seems to be going better.  She still immediately says "I don't know how to do this" rather than try to untangle a problem on her own.  But, the most important thing I've seen (which is exactly as I had hoped) is that DD now sees herself as "good" in math!  She knows that she goes to the "advanced" math class and even though she doesn't have the quickest wit with math (yet), she will say "I'm good at math even though I don't really like it." -- see how her perspective has started to evolve from last year when she was shouting "It's too hard!!!" and "I hate math!" and "I'm not good at math!!!"?

By being in adv. math and holding her own (b/c I made sure she got her facts memorized come hell or highwater), she has internalized that she is good in math.  My hope is that over time, she might also say that she likes it.

There is no chance a child will like math if they don't have the basic skills.  Adding/subtracting are the cornerstones of multiplication.  Multiplication is 100% essential to fractions and division.  The math facts have to be there or success is impossible.

Confidence comes from competence.  In math, competence means they have to memorize the facts.  For my DD, this was quite a struggle.  Some kids have to work harder in the beginning to "get" a skill... but that is not a reason to quit.  I believe the results will be there in the end... it's just going to take more effort to get to the same place.

OP, maybe someone else has a better solution for you.  I just wanted you to know that your daughter is not the only one and you are not the only one who has been in the same situation.  3rd grade year was very hard for us, but it has improved substantially.[/quote]

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