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[quote=Anonymous]this sounds like my mother!! it's awful to deal with.

the relationship between your mother and birth mother sounds like my mom with my mil. if they bought us a more expensive christmas gift than she did, she gets upset about it. if they know any information about us before she does, she is upset.

unfortunately, unless everything is on her terms and her way she creates a fight. she gets mad because i don't want to send her recipes of everything i cook, she gets mad if i don't tell her everything i buy when i go shopping, she gets mad if she is not the first to know every single thing. even if i tell my dad something assuming you know they live together and talk and communicate, she is mad because i didn't tell her.
it's exhausting. and i find her negative energy draining.

i don't have advice just that i can totally fully relate. my sisters solution to it is to be a doormat to my mom and give in to whatever my mom wants her to do. i wouldn't recommend that.

can your therapist work with the two of you to set up boundaries that you feel comfortable with? maybe that you only want to talk once or twice a week on the phone.

i've learned with my mom that she is just miserable and unhappy and she will always be mad about something. so even if i did everything on her terms, she would probably adjust the terms to find a new reason to be mad at me. i can't win. maybe your mom is the same way?

also, did you find the solo therapy helped you? i'm considering seeing a therapist myself and wondering if that will help or will there only be benefit if we are both in therapy.[/quote]

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