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[quote=Anonymous]Some new grandmothers just don't get it.

OP, do you have a good relationship with her otherwise?  I think you need to be kind but clear.  Tell her that you love her and that you're glad she's in your life and in your child's life.  And then tell her that between work and the baby, you're drowning right now.  Tell her that you don't have the time and energy to meet all her expectations and that the combined effect of all the messages is stressing you and hurting your relationship with her.  It makes you want to see and talk to her less, not more, and you don't want to feel that way about her.

Suggest some sort of regular communication: to expect to talk to you about once a week, to enjoy the photos that you do post to Facebook for all to see, to schedule a visit in whatever is your normal time frame.  Tell her you hope it will get easier as the baby gets older, but what you need from her right now is understanding and compassion.

And what's with the mutual therapy sessions?  I'd have a meeting with the therapist solo and talk about how to set healthy boundaries, but if these sessions aren't helping you in that relationship, don't spend your precious time there.

Realize too that what your stepmother is doing isn't healthy.  It isn't healthy for her to put that much of her happiness on your ability to be in her life...you can have a good relationship that doesn't require all she's asking of you, if she would let it happen.[/quote]

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