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[quote=Anonymous]My mother is constantly seeking validation for our relationship.  FWIW, she is not so much my mother as she as "mother figure".  She came into my life when I was 14 and lived with my father. My birth mother and I have always had a distant and strained relationship. Prior to this she was a close family friend of many years.

Back to the point, she seeks validation by having me do things for her. Examples:
Send me a picture of grandson (she wants daily pictures)
Call me after grandson's appointment and tell me how it went
I didn't get a picture of grandson yet!
Why don't you ever post a picture of grandson on my facebook wall! You've never posted a picture on my wall!
When are you coming to visit, please come for a long time in x month.
I am his Grandmother, I want to be in grandson's life, you should send me a picture
Everyone gets pictures of their grandchildren (WTF is everyone, she lovvvves talking about everyone)
I.E. Everyone talks to their children daily (I hate talking on the phone)
Everyone vacations with their children (she thinks most if not all trips should include her)

Until recently she refused to book her own plane tickets to visit because "it was nice that I did it for her". Once I became pregnant, I put a firm stop on that. (I have enough to worry about).

We have a therapist that we see mutually (I do phone appointments with her). She has helped some, but unless she saw the therapist everyday I don't think it would eradicate this behavior.

When I won't give in to her requests ("It's not my job to send you a daily picture, call after every appointment, post on your facebook wall, my job is to be his mother"), the conversation spirals downward quickly.
Do you even want me in your life?
I am sad you do not want to be with me (I opted to go for a week with DH on a business trip to the bay area instead of to her house, not well received)
Do you want me to be DS's grandmother?
Do you love me? 
etc.

I feel smothered. exhausted (working mom of 7 mo). and trapped in an endless cycle of her communications with me. I ignore them for days, but it just builds up and is right there waiting for me when I stop dodging her calls/texts/emails/facebook messages.

We do try to facetime occasionally when we have the energy. And we always make an effort to celebrate birthdays/mothers day etc. I just cant make this day in and day out effort that she wants/needs. She is single and lives alone with frankly too much time and too much money.  Meanwhile, I'm trying to stay connected to my husband, raise the baby, juggle working (not to mention we are foster parents and occasionally balance those demands as well when we are needed). I'm tired at the end of the day (and sometimes the beginning...I also posted in the health forum about being exhausted all the time).  Anyway, thanks for reading.
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