Reply to Entitled step-mom annoys the hell out of me.

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[quote=Anonymous]Beer glasses: "Sorry, we don't have room in the freezer any more for these, but rest assured you'll get beer in a chilled glass when you visit." Say it as you hand back her glasses. This is also a tactic for other controllng little things she does: "We don't have room, but thanks for thinking of us." "We can't do that but thanks for thinking of us."

Door: That's between her and your dad, period, even if it does annoy you. Do not die on that molehill. If she is also standing there eyeing you, your husband, etc. expecting the door to be opened by EVERYONE, just point out when your hands are full: "Could you get the door, please, I don't have a free hand." If hands are not full: Go through first and hold it open behind you. Kind of a passive-aggressive thing to do but appropriate as you're both women.

Kids: Limit exposure. You mentioned staying in a hotel. Do it. Still see them but tell your dad (outside her hearing): "As the kid(s) get older we want to have some more space and not crowd you and Sally." Leave it at that. When she makes those "hourly" comments: "Sally, I will take it from here." Then remove self and kid from her presence; say it's time to go outside to play, or let's go get your craft things and you can make something in the next room. Ignore as much as you can from her, tell firmly "I'll take it from here" and remove your kids from her immediate presence. If you can't remove your kids, repeat step two in a nice, bland but firm voice: "Seriously Sally, Child is fine, we're done here." Instant change of topic every single time.

The rest: Can you arrange to see just your dad at least some of the time? Invite him on special father-daughter things with JUST you and not even the kids involved, meet for a day somewhere between your home and his? First, that would be great for him and for you as his child. Second, it gives him time to see you when you are not tensed up and just waiting for the next dig from his girlfriend. Also, find things that are "grandpa and me" events for him and your kid(s). This may get easier as they get older, too, and have more activities.[/quote]

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