Reply to How was it to grow up in joint custody arrangement?

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[quote=Anonymous]My brother and his wife split up when their kids were 3 and 1. His wife was given primary custody and he officially had every other weekend but the kids ended up spending more time at his place than their moms. Going back and forth was really hard on the kids - maybe partly because they were at dad's when mom didn't want them and at their moms when she did - so there wasn't a set schedule. My brother tried for years to get primary custody but the courts at the time were still very pro-mothers and it took years - they were 10 and 12 when he finally got custody.  They then saw their mom regularly but on a schedule and this worked much better for everyone.

A friend of mine has joint custody with her ex and it works great. They live less than 5 minutes apart and the kids rotate one week at each place (kids are 6 and 10). They see the other parent often during the week as they co-parent. So one takes one kid to soccer and the other takes the other to ballet. If they need or want something form the other house it is easy to stop by and their friends and activities are all in the same neighborhood, regardless of whose house they are at. They also are very flexible with the schedule so if one is traveling or needs a night away, the other is there. There have been a couple rough patches when new partners have been integrated in but overall it has worked great. [/quote]

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