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[quote=Anonymous]Imagine your life without your husband.  What will your visitation look like.  Where will you live.  How will your life change when you are down to one income and whatever child support you will get.  Can you manage everything yourself or will you have to hire extra help.  Will you like your life when you are alone - not that you'll ever separate completely because you have kids together.

I found that after living the reality of being separated and divorcing, it was much easier to forgive.  It's not easy on the kids.  It's exhausting, especially if you have primary or sole custody.  It takes a toll on your job because you're even more on call for your kids than when there was another parent theoretically equally involved - mine wasn't equally involved, but until I was separated, I wasn't 100% the one who had to drop everything when a kid got sick or needed something.  It takes a toll on your relationship with your kids because you are so busy doing 100% of what has to be done instead of splitting the must dos, which leaves you less time for the fun stuff with the kids.  It leaves you with less money for kids activities, tutoring, vacations and whatever else you would have had money to spend on.  It also leaves you with less time to get your kids to places your want them or they need to go.

Most relationships are something less than perfect and take work.  And, no person is perfect.  No matter who you are with, they are going to do insensitive things and sometimes be a downright clod.  And, sometimes you will too.  So, at some point you have to learn to forgive and look forward instead of dwelling on the past.

I don't know if your marriage is worth saving.  But, in the end, after over a year of separation and tens of thousands of dollars on lawyers, I reached the conclusion mine was and that I and the kids are happier and better for the work that it took to put things back together.

Good luck, OP, in whatever you decide.  [/quote]

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