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[quote=Anonymous]Not taking anything away from the PPs but just want to say that I think it's important to remember that (in general) men think differently than women and they don't tend to remember birthdays or give great presents or roses etc--and are horrible mind readers that that's what women often want.  Expecting a man to act like your girlfriend will only bring disappointment so perhaps some of this is due to your heightened-and-dashed expectations of your DH.

When I got married I was really career-driven and very independent.  I was very taken aback the first time I was dependent and/or had a medical issue (the flu, but also a miscarriage) and my DH did not act in the way I would have expected a caring person to act.  He did not "nurse" me.

But one of the things I've come to terms with is that my DH was attracted to a very independent woman who is their equal on many levels.  Men like that (in general) aren't that good when their woman morphs and gets needy.  Which is good, because they weren't attracted to the needy clingy women in the first place which is why they ended up with women like you and me.

So I try and cut my DH a break on this front.  Really.  I've come to terms with it and see that in spite of this, IMO, shortcoming, he is a great DH.  Even when I'm sick and he's shocked that I'm still sick 3 hours later.  :eye roll:

I think for the most part, men are pretty simple and women tend to look for symbolic meaning and that gets them into trouble…for example, "no roses" to you is symbolic of him not caring.  No.  It's just not.  He's a guy.  No symbolic meaning.  Who's going to get you roses?  Your girlfriend or your gay guy friend--people who think in symbolic meanings.

Ok so clearly this does not address the larger issue of your malaise and how severe etc it is, but I did want to hit upon the DH expectation issue.[/quote]

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