Reply to Husband with Asbergers how to help

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Husband with Asbergers how to help"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He just doesn't get social cues, phone etiquette, body language and he challenges anything he believes to be inaccurate, no matter how trivial. This affects our marriage, his job and his relationships. How can I help him? He hasn't been given a legitimate diagnosis but it is extremely obvious. He's a good guy but I'm having a hard time accepting these quirks now that kids are in the picture. Help![/quote]

Does he recognize he's deficient in these areas?
Does he place any value on these things?

I'm similar to your husband. I recognize I'm deficient, and even if I don't see value in social niceties I accept that there is value. That last bit is a leap of faith which some people can't make. I can make it in no small part because people for whom I have respect have repeatedly informed me that these things are important.

If he doesn't place any value on those things, there's not much you can do to help because he's going to have to learn to follow scripts that make absolutely no sense, but the rest of the world seems to like them for some reason. It's hard to do nonsensical things even if you think they have value, it's almost impossible if you see no value.

My husband translates a lot of the world for me, and he helps me build scripts for interaction. I'll run through a planned phone conversation with him ahead of time, and he'll point out where I can adjust my words to be more socially acceptable. It takes a lot of practice on my part. I have to remind myself of a lot of things. Having scripts helps. "At the beginning of a meeting with an unknown person, introduce myself, shake hands if hand is offered, make eye contact. If the person wants to make small talk, smile pleasantly and reciprocate by asking about family (look for photographs) or hobbies (look for clues). Allow small talk for up to 3 minutes before moving into work." and so on. Ask your husband what might help him, or offer him observations you have made. Too much change at once is too difficult, if there's one big thing he can work on that can be more helpful. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics