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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sober 20 years. DH is sober 27 years.

I would not recommend Al-Anon at this time. I don't find that Al-Anon is helpful for most people. It focuses on the wrong things and elevates co-dependency to the same level of problem as alcoholism.  That's not fair or true.
[/quote]

NP here.  This is the perspective of an addict and is not very useful, and I don't mean that offensively.  Speaking from the perspective of the family member of an addict, Al-Anon is enormously helpful and you (OP) need a program that is about you and your recovery from the EFFECTS of living with and loving an alcoholic.  Codependency is a whole other issue, I don't know why the PP is talking about it (except for resentment at the idea that the problems of people living with alcoholics could be considered "at the same level" as alcoholism?).

Agree with other PPs that you (OP) need to let your husband work his program and you need to work yours, which means trying out Al-Anon.  At the very least, it will help you not feel responsible for monitoring and "helping" him with his.[/quote]

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