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[quote=Anonymous]If your DH is wiling, he may get a different response from your mom than you. She's playing a game she thinks she can win with you. If her son in law opens the door, sniffs the perfume, and says "Thanks for stopping by but we can't have such perfumes around the baby. You're welcome to come back when you've had a chance to wash it off." and closes the door, she has to respond differently.

My FIL also plays a lot of abusive games but he also knows his BS lease is short with me. He just can't get under my skin in the same way because we don't have the history. So for now he's decided not to be a guest in our home, but that's his call. I went out of my way to make him welcome, but I couldn't accommodate his abuse and he's made his priorities clear. We still see him and communicate with him as much as we can, but I doubt he'll be in our home again for years to come. Interestingly, I still have a good relationship with him - I think abusive people know, on some level, that they're out of control. [/quote]

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