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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Weathering the storm..."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you for each of your comments. Many people, after finding out how young I was when I wed, feel that they cannot relate to me. However, I have to disagree with them. Just because I married young doesn't mean that you all who married later in life and enjoyed your twenties haven't dealt with or experienced some of the same things I have. I'm just experiencing them sooner than you and much sooner than most people my age. I don't go to church. With 4 kids and a husband never home, the last thing I want to do on a Sunday morning is force toddlers to be quiet, act appropriately and keep their clothes without stains for a 9am service. That 9am service, which requires a 6am wake up call in order to get there on time. Maybe in a few years! HA. I am a complete extrovert and reach out to many women. I don't think anything is wrong with me or them but I find it hard to build true friendships with women. In order to be a true friend, you have to be vulnerable. I'm a completely open book and not perfect. Maybe I will find someone just as lost, frazzled and tired as I am! Thanks again for your responses anyway. [/quote] How are you doing at connecting with other people (both other students and professors) at school? I ask because I think it is really important in 2 ways -- school is a major place to make lifelong friends and it is a major place to make connections for future work. Not having any friends to bitch to, or play with, or ask to cover/help you, really makes life more difficult. I say this as a mom who went to law school while I had two kids and my partner worked full-time. I definitely didn't form the friendships and network that would've been helpful, but, in retrospect, that was probably my fault. It's easy to go to school, but focus on your family and doing school work by yourself, especially if you are a good student and don't need to reach out much for help. Are there "older student" groups at school, mentorship programs, a daycare center college families use, etc.? Do you have a study group? Are you working with a a career counselor, maybe that person can make suggestions? Participating in a student activity group of interest? You are putting a lot of pressure on your husband if he is the only person with whom you have/seek a "connection". We all need many people beyond our spouse for this. Another thing is maybe you can have a certain time of the day when you and your husband do "business", i.e. one day you review the weekly calendar/plans, or everyday at breakfast, whatever, and promise that you will try to keep evenings after a certain time free of that kind of stuff. And, of course, making it a priority to plan one "fun" thing just the two of you, even if all you can manage is sitting on the couch watching a funny movie and drinking beers. I also found it hugely useful to keep early bedtimes for our kids so that we always had a kid-free time in the evening, even if only for an hour or so. FWIW, IME, all moms (working or stay at home) are lost, frazzled and tired at least some of the time (and probably most of the time if the kids are still under 5), it's just a question of how much they are willing to admit it! And, you don't have to always own up to your age. Do people ask you how old you are; it's quite a rude question! If so, I would just say something like "today I'm feeling ancient..." or "old enough" or something else that doesn't reveal exactly how old you are. Unfortunately, teen parenthood immediately conjures up certain stereotypes. [/quote]
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