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[quote=Anonymous]Last week, my DH contacted his mother to ask that she remove her name from an account that DH still uses that she started for him when he was a minor. My DH explained to his mother (even though an explanation wasn't needed) that DH and I are using the account together now and that he would be putting my name on the account once she took her name off. She is the primary account holder and she has to remove herself before DH can do anything. All she had to do was sign a form for this to take place. Instead of agreeing to take her name off, she picked up her phone and called me to yell at me/question me about why I need to be on this particular account.

When I spoke with MIL, I didn't explain anything to her. I don't think our financial situation or the accounts that DH, I or the both of us share is any of her business. I tried my best to calm her down and tell her that DH contacted her about this and that this was a mutual decision for him to contact her about it. She wasn't having it. This particular account is used solely by DH and I. MIL does not receive account statements nor does she withdrawal money from the account. I didn't see what the big deal was with her doing what her son asked of her but after replaying her words in my head, I now see the writing on the wall.

My DH is an only child. He was raised by is mother and she was divorced and single for most of his childhood. Since DH and I married, MIL has blatantly disrespected me and the upbringing that I come from. She has made remarks about the financial success of my parents and how that I must be a woman who expects the same (kept) life of my mother. My MIL is never 100% satisfied with the role I play as DH's wife or the mother of her grandchildren. She has something to say about everything! This entire situation of this account has nothing to do with the actual account but everything to do with the fact that this the very last thing that ties her to her son, something that I have yet to have as his wife.

Since DH has spoken to his mother, she has gotten more angry and refuses to speak to me (believe me when I say that my feelings are not hurt) however she has also turned on her family members who do talk to me. This evening, I had a meeting for work and DH's grandmother watched our children. I tried to call MIL yesterday to see if she would like to spend time with the children during this time but she refused to answer the phone and I wasn't willing to play an game of "chase" with an adult. When I got to DH's grandmothers home to pick up our children, I was informed that DH's grandmother is now in the dog house with her daughter (MIL) because she helped me with the children this evening.

This will go on for weeks and maybe even a month or two and then all of a sudden, she'll call me or show up at my work/house and act as if everything is okay. I let her brush her childish acts under the rug each and every time but am sick of it. I've been with DH over a decade and watched this play out time and time again. When is it okay for me to let her know how her childish fits truly make me feel and that I am not buying a ticket to her show any longer? I know that I can't change her and that even me telling her off won't make her change but this is ridiculous! DH has spoken to her but nothing changes. I don't want my DH to cut his mother off but I want her to act her age, be mature and respect me. And, I know many will chim in that DH needs to take up for me and he does but he can't change her either. [/quote]

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