Reply to Is therapy even worth a try or should I just call it quits?

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Reply to "Is therapy even worth a try or should I just call it quits?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't make a decision now. If you have three young children, you have a good 15 years or so left of if not daily at least weekly contact with this guy assuming he is planning on staying active in their lives. You have no choice but to work things out at least to some degree so you can be functional coparents and to give you the best chance of moving on and having a future healthy relationship.

I am a sucker for lost causes. The shoving things is not okay and is disturbing and is abuse, physical abuse, but it is recent and isolated to that, therapy may help him. My husband was never physically abusive but he did have a two year affair when our kids were young and that is an insidious form of severe abuse, a lot of gaslighting and manipulation. But, he changed. He decided he hated the person he had become and he went to work getting at his issues and dealing with things. Nothing was off the table and it was an intense couple of years but we pulled it together and are much happier now. Anger, infidelity, emotional abuse, it all has roots in some very core places - fear of abandonment and rejection. People can climb on top of these issues. Therapy helps. It takes patience and work. I think you will want the father of your children to be less angry and fearful no matter if he is your husband or not, so I say it is worth it to give therapy a try.[/quote]

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