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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks, posters. It's a very confusing situation--we vascillate between thinking he is ill and like this is just his personality. If it is an illness, it is definitely untreated. I have a bipolar family member so I know what bipolar can look like--MIL insists BIL is but I'm not so sure. I feel for BIL, I really do but he is so beastly to my DH and causes DH so much pain--I try not to be angry bc I know it is a possibility that this is a true illness. But when I am around him I really get the sense that he is really just self-actualizing--that he has no idea who he really is and this is something that works for him now. I don't know, and I guess I need to accept that I may not. Regardless, his behavior is the same and cause for concern. Sigh. That's PP for the great suggestions on what to say to MIL. I dread this but I know if I don't and we go and it is as it has been in the past I will be so regretful and nervous. Not a great holiday for my kids, at the very least. [/quote]

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