Reply to i wish my mother understood me... feeling like a child, help me not act like one

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[quote=Anonymous]i have a generally excellent relationship with my parents - they live in the area and do a great deal of childcare - out of their own desire and volition. We get along well and spend some time each weekend together. They have always been a bit cooler towards my husband (for various reasons, some of them very legitimate).

We are now buying a house. We live in a townhouse that is much too small and it has talen a lot of time for DH to want to move - i was ready long before him. We have certain financial constraints. Both my parents have repeatedly told DH and I how they bought a fixer-upper and put years of time and money into it to turn it into a really beautiful home. DH prefers to buy something "ready" - he doesn't want to invest unknown amounts of time and money into any house. My parents seem to be mocking us at times - and today, my mother said to me "well, we're just different than you two; we care about people, you care about money."

she knows our salaries and she knows we are trying to keep 6 mon savings in the bank in case of emergency - she just thinks we're foolish for doing so, and her whole comment was about this desire to not entirely deplete our bank accounts at once.

she and my dad were diplomats - they never thought more than 1 year ahead of their life in the US - never saved for college or anything (and luckily, were well-off enough to pay in full for all three of their kids) and always spoke about moving back. I think the idea of a forever house or of saving for the future was just not on their radar. And now they've made it totally clear that they think we are short sighted and foolish for saving for the future and not blowing everything on a house.

i am just at such a loss. i'm so used to being understood and understanding their position; i'm not used to being the enemy. my mom says she's trying not to be involved, but she keeps butting in: "did you know So-an-SO's son bought a house where the inspector said there was a $50,000 issue in the basement! they still bought it!" (this after we were telling her and my dad about a house we really like that seems to have some water damage and cracks in the basement - they bought sort of looked at us askew when we said we were thinking about not purchasing since it could be a potentially very costly repair - on top of the high cost of the house).

sorry this is so long and disjointed - i'm feeling quite out of sorts.

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