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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  He won't go to individual therapy because that means "something is wrong with him" and it "takes two to make a problem."  He did go once before but told the counselor he had no idea why he was there and they ended up talking about work relationships at his office.

Couples therapy doesn't work either.  Last time we tried, I would bring up examples of some of the stuff he has done (believe me, saying shut up is not the worst one), and the counselor (who had also been his individual therapist) would ask him why it happened, and he would have an explanation, like, he was feeling insecure at the moment, and the counselor would say the issue was that I didn't understand that he felt insecure.  It was like being doubly abused - once by DH and another time by the counselor.  I asked whether it would be ok for him to shoot me because he was feeling insecure, but no one felt they had to answer that question.

So, sadly, I will focus on trying to prevent DD from getting kicked off the team.  That's about the only thing I have any hope of controlling.  I'll talk to the coach.[/quote]

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