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[quote=Anonymous]I think it's better if people can have these conversations as early on as possible (I was a hospital chaplain for a long time and saw how hard it was for families who had never had certain conversations), but better late than never.

It can be a very loving and frank conversation without needing to be overly blunt.  Wording it like you want to make sure you'll be able to make sure their care is the way they'd want it to be if something ever happened that they couldn't take care of themselves (but in your own words) is a pretty standard opening.

If their abilities are already declining, they may not be able to participate as fully in making decisions, but in that case you can still test the waters by offering viable alternatives for them. (e.g. If Mom were to die first, this seems like a pretty big house for you to be in by yourself.  How would you feel about X or Y alternatives?

Also, it's super helpful - if they haven't arranged it already - to have someone to be their durable medical power of attorney AND to have all siblings (or other concerned adult family) on board with any decisions.  Because even if it's someone's wishes, if a lot of family protest it it can interfere with treatment or other wishes.  (e.g. Organ donor centers (at least the local one we had to call when someone died) won't harvest anything from a person who wanted to donate them if even a single family member protests it because they don't want to get a vulture-y reputation.)

Hope this helps, OP![/quote]

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