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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because they can't stop fighting and its stressful and bad for tge kids?  I love my DH and he loves me but I think we may be fundamentally incompatable because we fight.all.the.time.  Two years of counseling and the root issues are clear (both products of very self-absorbed moms) but the behavior is still so bad.  So sad.[/quote]

Find a new counselor.  Its one thing to identify an issue but quite another to end in a situation where you both have decided your own behavior is not your fault and there is nothing that can be done about it.  The only counselors who should be identifying "mommy" issues are working off Erikson's or Freud's work (or derivatives of them).  Of course it is possible they are making it up as they go and its much easier to get a client to pay the bill if you help them figure out they share no responsibility for their own behavior.

Neither Erikson or Freud thought identifying the problem and then simply accepting it was healthy.  The goal of identification through psychoanalysis was to be able to take steps to solve the fixation or dilemma (the two individuals used different terms).  Looking for someone who understands cognitive behavioral therapy (or others) and who is willing to be honest enough to help you identify the issues you can actually do something about.  [/quote]

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