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[quote=Anonymous]My dad, who is in his late 70s and in pretty good health, wants to move in with my family.  My mom died not long ago, but they had actually been throwing around the idea of moving in with us before she died.  We have the physical room for him, and he wants to pay a monthly amount (TBD) towards our mortgage and utilities.  Here are my thoughts, and I would really, really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been through this.

I am most worried he will hate the noise and fracas that pervades our house.  We have little kids and it's loud and messy and unruly.  He likes to watch the news in quiet and eat dinner like a civilized person.  On the other hand, though, I think he would like to be surrounded by young voices and laughter and he'd get a kick out of the funny things our children say and do.  It does help to keep you young to be surrounded by young people.  I told him he cannot move in with us until he has spent a full month staying with us, so he can get a sense of what it would be like before he gives up his own apartment and moves here.

Other concerns: We both work - relatively late - and I know he likes to eat dinner as a family.  That just wouldn't be possible.  We've talked about the fact that we wouldn't be home most nights to eat as a group (kids eat earlier with the nanny) and he says he would be ok with that - but I know this is a focus for him.

He is in good health but a bit unsteady on his feet and he'd have to live upstairs at our house, as we don't have a first floor bedroom or full bath.  I do worry about that plan in the long term.

He lives alone now, but about 2 hours away from us.  He has lots of friends and some family in that town, as well as activities and groups he belongs to.  Here, he has us and that's about it.  That's a lot of pressure on us.

In a perfect world, I think I'd love for him to live in an independent living facility near us - but how do people afford it???  He can't pay the rates for those places on his pension and SS benefits.  So living with us becomes a lot more attractive for him - we can keep an eye on him and he can be part of our lives everyday, which is neat.

I know it's  a lot to take on.  My SIL says there's no way we should do it.  My husband is 100% fine with it - he is a saint.  I am hesitant but mostly game.  I know there are some major drawbacks, but at the same time, it would be amazing for my children to have the kind of realtionship with their grandfather that they'd have if we spent this much time together.

Can anyone tell me what I'm not considering or give me their experience or offer me suggestions for other options (including how to afford other options?!)

Thanks so much for your help!

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