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Reply to "Are your parents kinder to other people than you?"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I would at some point ask your parents about this. You deserve to know what was going on. And I suggested you and your DH see your parents for who they are, adjust future expectations, and not allow yourselves to be emotionally hurt by people who can't and won't give you what you need. Put up strong boundaries. My dad is like this and it's yet another reason why I treat him with a long handled spoon. In my 20s, instead of helping me move cross country as he promised when I graduated college, he reneged at the last minute and attended the wedding of someone's daughter who could barely stand him. In my 20s and 30s, he would visit cities I was in and not bother to let me know he was in town. But he always took my cousins out to dinner when he visited their cities. In recent years he traveled all over to see my younger brother play college football. But he never bothered to come see me in the hospital when I was sick, gave birth, or our recent anniversary party (which others traveled for). Classic narcissist that he is, he thinks everything is great and never admits to a problem. I have adjusted my expectations of him and now only see him if and when it fits our schedule, is convenient, and the visit is short. This shift has meant my DH and I have refused to do such crazy things as meet him as requested at a highway reststop with our toddler because he was busy, missed us during our family visit, and wanted to see her. It's meant focusing on other family at gatherings when we're in town. If he shows up hours late, just as we're leaving, we say we're sorry we missed you and keep to our schedule. This ensures we put ourselves first and aren't sucked into his cycle of second class citizen treatment.[/quote]
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