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[quote=Anonymous]I would recommend that you read "How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk" by Adele Farber and Elaine Maslich (sp?). I know it's not geared toward MILs, but I think it will help you to remove yourself from the situation enough to respond in a calm manner. After all, our kids learn to push our buttons, and that's what the book helps you deal with (there was also an example in the book of a woman whose parents always criticized her, and how the techniques in the book helped her deal with her parents).

What you need to do is not take anything personally, especially since you know that she acts like this to everyone. For example: 
- She says: You feed her too much! Your response: Thanks for your opinion, Mom. We think we have a handle on the situation. 
- She says: You didn't make enough of this food and too much of the yucky stuff. Your response: Thanks for letting us know! (or) Do you really think so? Hmm.

But you need to be 100% calm and in control when you talk to her. This will take time and a lot of work, but it can be done (I'm speaking from personal experience here).

If she says anything really egregious, you can always follow the Carolyn Hax method: "Wow." And leave it at that.

GL![/quote]

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