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[quote=Anonymous]I watched my parents deal with the decline of one of my grandparents not too long ago and it was pretty awful. At times, as an observer, I felt like some of it could have been avoided-- more exercise, better diet, more community involvement, less fearfulness/anxiety and more desire to embrace retirement rather than take it as a license to allow yourself to sit home, waste away on what I'd meds for issues that could be solved with lifestyle changes, and wait for your kids to take care of you. Now, I'm watching my parents age and I'm seeing some of the old patterns repeat-- lots of excuses for why my mother can't join the local pool and take a senior exercise class (though when I was a child of course I had to go to the pool every day!!), lots of excuses why my father won't enroll in a local adult ed program, lots of excuses why they won't travel more, why they don't eat better, why they don't read a lot or volunteer... in the end, they seem to be getting a little more cranky year by year and I'm afraid that in the end they will just whine about why their kids can't be like everyone else and live down the block or at least within 10 minutes (in an area DH and I can't afford and even if we could afford to live there, we don't want to live there).

In the end, I think you can only do so much for them. Ensure they are safe, comfortable, talk to their doctors when you need to and give them certain options when it comes down to it, i.e., no, it is not possible for you to stay in this house anymore after you fractured your hip unless you have a home health aide, and I have to work full time and care for small children and I'm sorry mom, but they come first. So, which is it? Choice a) home health aide, or choice b) assisted living center. Just one example. [/quote]

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