Reply to Out-of-country In Laws want "month 4 childcare" visit

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[quote=Anonymous]Where does your husband stand on this? That's a huge omission in the post. Is he pressing for this to happen when you're against it? Is that why you don't go into detail on whether he is backing you or his parents here? (And...he should be backing you, by the way.)

The in-laws mean well but you should say no. You are right that two transitions is one too many -- not just for the baby, who is going to be pretty resilient, honestly, but for you and dad. Having 24/7 houseguests, however helpful they mean to be, is not going to make your transition back to work easier; it will make it much more stressful. As someone else posted -- boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. But your husband should be the one handling this with his folks and setting those very firm but loving boundaries.

By the way, it's impossible to tell from your post, but if the in-laws are folks who get offended or upset easily and you're fearing that -- well, now is the time for you and your husband to get used to navigating that kind of thing, or you will be tiptoeing around their travel plans and saying yes when you mean no for many years to come. Your gut is saying "no" here -- listen to your gut. If your husband is disagreeing with you, you and he need to work it out but that does not mean that you cave to him. It means his folks do come, but at the time that works for all of you, which is not the time they propose.[/quote]

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