Reply to Child got in on Appeal and I'm wondering If it's a good thing

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Reply to "Child got in on Appeal and I'm wondering If it's a good thing"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think this is one reason that we as parents try so hard to get our kids into the program -- because it's there, the kids know it's there, and whatever we tell them, some kid on the bus is going to say the smart kids are in AAP.  It's life, part of growing up.  Both my kids are "in" and yet I still feel, deep in my heart, that it's wrong to create this dichotomy in third grade.  They are eight years old, and the majority of them are hearing that they are not smart enough to get in the advanced program.  I do think it's just wrong.[/quote]

If they didn't have it, there would [i][b]still[/b][/i] be a group of smarter kids that everyone knew were smarter than everybody else.....  And when they go to High School, there will be the smarter kids generally getting into TJ, then College where the smartest will get into the Ivies generally, then Jobs and new businesses where the smartest generally will succeed.  IOW, it's a part of life.  My advice is to try to make the best of it [b]without making a big deal about it[/b].  It's more important overall for your child to be happy... [/quote]

+1.  Kids always know who the smart kids, with or without AAP.  AAP just attempts to challenge those kids.  If you do not feel your daughter can handle the work, do not put her in.  If you think she can, do.  I am certain most of the feelings of inferiority or superiority come from the parents. [b] I wish parents would relax about it and not have so much invested in it and then the kids would relax.[/b]  I have encountered o many parents who are so distressed when their child is not placed and so thrilled when their child gets in on appeal.  It freaks me out.[/quote]

Good advice.  I also sometimes feel that the parents who are most distressed or thrilled are also those who aren't confident enough of their kid's abilities (or weren't of their own) and need some kind of external validation.  I had kids in aap and not in aap and could really have cared less, as long as they ultimately (and if this happens in middle or high school, fine) come to love learning.  So far they all have, but I think that comes from living in their house where they see their parents constantly reading and learning new things.  There's not a specific amount of information that needs to be crammed in a kid's head by a certain date, but a way of looking at the world so they know that all the things they teach you; discovery, investigation, problem-solving, analysis, etc. are tools you will use for the rest of your life.  [/quote]

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